Last night I announced that I was beginning my journey to souljoy; but I didn't explain what souljoy was or is. Souljoy is a state of being content, satisfied and immensely happy being you-- regardless of the confusion, circumstances or situations. Sadly everyone in life doesn't reach this destination; many of us passively exist and get beat up by the winds of life and become regretful. And if I had died yesterday I would have been one of those people. I refuse to be one of those people and by dedicating myself to strengthening my relationship with my savior and discovering my authentic self I won't be.

I also mentioned a few of my goals: to discover and do my passions, lose 50lbs and be fearless. Well I'm one of those Renaissance souls- I have many interests and I do well in many things and secondary passions change all the time. So right now I'm deciding where I want to direct my energies. My second goal was to lose 50lbs. I've never been thin or comfortable with my weight , but since I've had the twins it's become more of a problem for me. I'm tired of wearing girdles and giving up $8 every month for a Hanes bodyshaper. And for once in my life I want the cute bra on the rack, not the one that cost $10 dollars more because you have to special order it. I also believe I've allowed my weight to hold me back and stifle my voice. That brings me to my last goal: to be fearless. I have let so many opportunities pass me by because of fear. Fear of rejection, fear of judgment and fear of the unknown. I'm tired of being scared and worrying all the time. Fear has crippled me, but I'm on a journey of healing.

I just thought I needed to explain myself a little better.

In addition to working out and sticking to my paleolithic diet I gave myself an assignment. This week I have to introduce myself to two new people. I fully intend to conquer my fear of rejection.

So if anyone out there finds themselves in a similar predicament do this one assignment or join me on this journey.