A chain is broken

Today, the doctor informed me that my birth control implant was still intact; PRAISE JESUS( I would have had to be resurrected if I was pregnant again)!!! I also took the boys to get their shots and the crying was minimal.

Now that you've been updated let's move on to the active part of my journey. So as you know yesterday I gave myself an assignment (meet two new people this week) to help conquer my fear of rejection. While I haven't done that yet I did make some ground in the area. Early this morning a close family member and I had a small fight and normally I say my side, but if the person isn't comfortable with my stance I'll back down and try to appease them in some way (note this behavior is only expressed with family). Well today I was going down that same path and God said "Stop!" I felt the worry of how that person was going to treat me or if they'd still like me later. And again God said" Stop!". And I realized that I can't control any one's feelings-- that its not my responsibility to make sure everything is all right and that everyone is happy. I then asked myself why am I apologizing when I don't think I'm wrong? The answer: I'm afraid of being rejected and not just by strangers. So today I checked myself. I didn't call that person and pester them, nor did I text them multiple I love yous; and you know what: that person called and apologized for their behavior.

Now let me make myself clear. I'm not saying never to apologize: if you've done something wrong say you're sorry; if you've legitimately hurt some one's feelings apologize for your approach if not for what you said. But to apologize when you've been treated badly because your afraid their potential reaction( whether the consequence is real or imaginary) is being a doormat. And that will kill your spirit.

Let me clarify before I get comments attacking the other person or hot line numbers.In my situation the other person isn't doing anything, but disagreeing. They are not withholding affection or being mean.I've acted this way because I've allowed fear to rule my life and fear will cause you to think things that aren't true and do things that you know you shouldn't.

Again, I invite you to take this journey with me. The Journey to Souljoy is one of self discovery and freedom. Who knew that freedom would come so soon. I've only been on this journey for one day and already a chain is broken...